Today, we live in a microwave society. We want and expect everything to be fast and accordingly to our way. I remembered few years ago, I had a lousy day at work. I decided to go to a cafe to grab a coffee and someone was blocking my way at the door. I step aside and gave him a “irritated” look. Holy Spirit convicted me and I repented for that act. It was so rude. Nobody owed me anything. Just because I had a lousy day doesn’t mean I can treat others rudely.
~Love… does not behave rudely… – 1 Corinthians 13:5
We may not realise it but what kind of seeds are we sowing today? We reap what we sow no matter how small or insignificant it may be. It can be a disapproving look at a cashier because they are taking a bit too long. Or the sarcastic tone when we talk to our investment manager when our portfolio didn’t perform. There is no love in this self entitlement attitude.
I am in a season where I am waiting on God for breakthroughs for almost every area of my life. I am waiting on God to move in my finances, family, career and relationships. This waiting season is not easy. I get bashed, ridiculed, insulted and shamed because I do not do what the world do. I chose to be set apart and follow God. I attended weddings after weddings and have to celebrated the victories of others. Someone get the very deal I am praying for. Many times I wonder whether if His promises in my life will ever come to past. Initially I got angry and upset that I am not getting what I want and I have to suffer shame because of that.
Today I thank God that He made me to wait. Waiting exposes the conditions of my heart. I was upset and angry because I wanted to be admired and respected by people. I wanted to have what I want when I want it (sense of entitlement). I want to look good in front of others. That expensive house or that rich boyfriend that can shower expensive gifts on me. The pride of life! My heart was full of idols.
What about me? What about me? Where’s my career breakthrough? Why did this person get that deal and I didn’t? God, I obeyed you and I tell others about You! Why am I not blessed?
I went on my knees and ask God for repentance. I repent that I wanted all these things to get attention and admiration from people. I live for the praises of men. I repent and surrendered my life everyday and ask God to fill the void in my heart. I got to stuff my face in the Word of God. I let go of the love for money and learn to be content with what I have. I thank God that He did not give me what I want. But He gave me what I truly need- Jesus.
Right now, I am still waiting for God for the same breakthroughs. I believe it will come but I don’t know when and how. But I know He is a good good Father and His plans for me is the best and fastest plan.
In Psalm 37, He promised to exalt those who trust Him to inherit the land. He promised His children will never lack or go begging for food. I believe it with all my heart. But even if I don’t ever get what I want, it doesn’t matter. He is still God and Heaven is my home. I want to love Him all my life and I want to proclaim to everyone that He is God and He is worth living for.
When Daniel’s friends were being threatened to be thrown into the blazing furnace, they declare their faith in God to rescue them. But even if He doesn’t, they rather perish than to bow down to anyone except the One true God.
~16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:16-18
I no longer feel angry or painful when others seems to get ahead of me or get what I have been praying for. I have truly let go… because I already have what I truly want- Jesus. I was set free from that prison. The prison is the pride of life.
~The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever… Isaiah 40:8
Today, I pray you will find your value and contentment in Christ alone. I pray you will let Him complete the work in You and not resist it. I pray You persevere and never give up when things are tough but trust in His faithfulness.
~ Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5
More Than Conquerors 